Scrolling Instagram last week, a post from one of our favorite podcast guests, Dr. Emily King, jumped out at me. Don’t go into this school year with 2019 goals. This is 2020. Have 2020 goals. We had just had a conversation with our kids about our expectations for the school year. We told them as long as they were asking for help and actively trying their best, we weren’t going to check their grades. (Shocker: I am the mom that was logging in and checking their grades weekly.) Their school year has already been turned upside down, the least we could do is be on the same team with them. The last thing we wanted to do is add extra pressure.
However, there was a twinge of second-guessing on my part in our approach. Would the inch of grace I am giving them turn into a mile? Does it even matter at this point? In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, a person needs basic physiological needs and feelings of safety before anything else. They also need connection and belonging from family, friends, and community. Dr. King points out that without all these things, learning cannot happen. If your child is feeling unsafe or lacking connection, it is going to be very hard for them to reach their full potential. We have to ensure the basics are taken care of before we can expect more.
Best Foot Forward
Dr. King is living her own advice first-hand right now. While walking down her stairs late at night, she missed the last step in the dark and BROKE BOTH OF HER FEET. Seriously, both of them. It’s honestly the most 2020 injury I’ve ever heard of. With two children and a business to run, she is learning how to adapt to her situation. She has set new expectations for herself that are more in-line with what she can do.
This is the same way we need to think of the school year. We are in a new set of circumstances and if our priority is on safety, connection, health, and relationships then learning will happen. It might be a different kind of learning. Not the true academics we are used to. But valuable learning that our children will carry with them forever.
How are you adjusting your goals for 2020? Listen to the podcast and tell us below in the comments.
- Libsyn: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/15828392
- iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-holderness-family-podcast/id1378725018#episodeGuid=b3db7c0f-81e0-4ee7-93a6-bfcc80c716d2
- Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0jSy5yfKaDvBwtS9X8pJmc?si=UucrlEvGS-y0jsZGLIuNdg
- Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/holdermess-the-holderness-family-podcast/e/77375830?autoplay=true#/