Ahh…listening. A simple gesture. When two people are in the flow of conversation, both actively listening and thoughtful responding, it can feel like church bells going off in our head. We feel understood. We feel heard. We feel grounded. But when someone isn’t listening or (maybe worse) half-listening, it can feel frustrating and isolating. That connection that happens when we are heard is being missed.
Feeling Heard in 2020
This week on the podcast we shared an excerpt from our upcoming book, Everybody Fights, and had our marriage coach, Dr. Christopher Edmonston, on to talk all about active listening. Listening is a pillar of a healthy relationship, but with increased stress and workload, it is one of the first things to get neglected. Christopher adds that he calls 2020 the year of outrage, which has helped decrease our ability to listen deeply. One of the most common listening techniques is to put distractions away – but in a year of constant updates and breaking news, it’s hard to do this simple task.
On the podcast (and in the book), we talk about the power of “yes and..” and some magic words to keep conversation focused and thoughtful. There’s no better joy than when Penn says “What’s on your mind?” or “I want to hear what you have to say.” The three simple words of “tell me more” have helped me countless times in chatting with my unforthcoming teenager.
The person you are with is growing and expanding each and every day. The only way to go on that journey with them is to open our ears and make sure we are following along. Are you listening?
Speaking of listening, check out our podcast here:
- Libsyn: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/16370654
- iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-listening-book-preview/id1378725018?i=1000494561708
- Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/26b0ALjsR0Xwde9oeULtyU?si=GLdfDTUDTaSv7FMAC3tJvw
- Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/holdermess-the-holderness-family-podcast/e/78526534?autoplay=true
- Google Play: https://play.google.com/music/m/Dukjht5icp2xtec5ldltdiklr6q?t=10132020_Book_Reading_with_Christopher_Edmonston-The_Holderness_Family_Podcast
- Pandora: https://pandora.app.link/53pf20Psyab