Everybody Fights

My wife drives me crazy sometimes. My husband should already know what I need. Is our marriage in trouble if we fight all the time? Is it possible to learn how to fight?

For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness have done the hard maintenance and the research. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they breakdown their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight; a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?

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With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their ten most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and wrap up hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle—and maybe laugh a little more along the way.

In Everybody Fights, couples will learn how to:

  • conjure the magic of metacommunication
  • break free of secret contracts
  • banish the three Ds—distraction, denial, and delay
  • carry their own individual baggage while helping each other deal with theirs


Kim and Penn have been married for sixteen years. For seven of those years, they have chronicled their marriage and their family with funny music videos, vlogs, skits, and a podcast. Their videos have garnered over a billion views worldwide. 

Penn and Kim honed their storytelling skills with twenty-five combined years in the TV news business. When the wonderful worlds of YouTube and Facebook appeared, Kim had the idea to ditch the traditional broadcast world and start making their own content in the digital space. Holderness Family Productions was born.

When they aren’t dancing around like crazy people on your Facebook feed, Penn and Kim help international companies make videos of their own. They have produced and written content for Storybots, Fox Home Entertainment, and most recently Velcro Companies, writing and directing a viral marketing campaign that landed their music video on Anderson Cooper 360. 

Penn and Kim live in Raleigh, North Carolina, with their children, Lola and Penn Charles. As of now, they love making silly videos with their parents.

For PR inquiries regarding Everybody Fights, please reach out to Allison Carter at Allison.Carter@harpercollins.com.

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