How to Ask For What You Want

When Penn and I first got married we would tiptoe around one another a lot. We both wanted to make the other person happy all the time. So when it came to wanting to do something just for ourselves, we would often tell a white lie or justify why we wanted something. 

For example, Penn loves to play tennis, but he felt selfish asking to play once a week with friends. He would come up with excuses like “someone backed out and they need me” every week. After a while, I asked him why he didn’t just come out and say he wanted to go.

Why Is It So Hard To Ask For What You Want

Sometimes it’s hard to ask for what you want because of fear of rejection, judgment, or feeling selfish. We have a saying at our house that we use on the podcast a lot: Mature people ask for what they want. However, just because we say it doesn’t mean it’s easy to do. 

This week, we break down some important tips for asking for what you want and not fall into ‘scorekeeping’ with your partner. You can also read more about this topic in our book, Everybody Fights. What are your tips for asking for what you want? Tell us in the comments.

Happy listening!