As you may have heard, our daughter recently graduated high school. People keep asking me, “How are you doing?” with that tilted head, soft voice thing, like I’m about to crumble into a pile of tears at any moment. But here’s the truth: I haven’t cried. Not once. Not even during the senior slideshow. (And I really tried to, you guys. What’s up with that?)
Maybe I’m just processing this big life change differently. Like through stabbing chest pain, random eye twitching, sleepless nights, and making 47 Google Docs about move-in weekend. (Cue Ross from “Friends” saying “I’m fine!” here.) Instead of openly sobbing into Lola’s baby onesies, I’ve been DOING. So far…
I’ve made a shared packing spreadsheet with her roommate’s family.
I’ve pre-booked hotels for parents weekend.
I’m writing dorm supply checklists like it’s my new full-time job.
Apparently, this is how my body processes big feelings: through hyper-organization and mild gastrointestinal distress. My therapist says these physical symptoms are emotions—just inconveniently skipping the crying part and heading straight to the digestive tract. Delightful.
But I Actually Am Happy For Her
This week on the podcast, we talk more about how it feels having a daughter going to college, all the ways I’m totally not falling apart yet, and fun distractions that are keeping us laughing. For the record, Penn hadn’t cried much either… until the podcast. He teared up talking about our family dinners, and let’s just say if you hear a grown man softly whisper “I’m not ready to graduate from the dinner table” it’ll punch you right in the parental gut.
We both agreed—this moment is hard. It’s weird. And it’s okay if you’re not a crier. (Or, you know, if your emotions are currently coming out as spreadsheets and bloating.) Maybe the reason I haven’t cried is that I am happy. I’m thrilled for my daughter. She’s ready, she’s amazing, and honestly? I am ready to see her take on the next chapter.
Doing Things Your Way
But I’ll miss the little things… her friends giggling at our house. Prom photos. That feeling when we’re all at the dinner table, laughing together. I’m not quite ready to graduate from that. So if you’re a fellow parent standing at the edge of an empty nest, I just want to say this: it’s okay to be excited. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to laugh, cry, overpack, under-eat, eye-twitch, and deep-clean your pantry at 3am. There’s no right way to let go—just your way.
And if your way involves emotionally berating squirrels and threatening them with hemorrhoids because they ruined your AI bird feeder? Same. (More on that in the show.)
