Some people get FOMO (the Fear of Missing Out) but I have FOMS (the Fear of Missing Sleep). I go to bed early and I am an extremely light sleeper. Penn, on the other hand, likes to stay up a bit later than me and… is a snorer. Over the years, we’ve made efforts to meet in the middle of our sleep habits.
If Penn plays night tennis super late, he sometimes will sleep in the guest bedroom when he gets home. I even asked my doctor for some things I can take (melatonin and L-theanine) to make sure I stay asleep and don’t wake up to every little noise I hear.
Recently, Penn had a cold and slept in the guest room and I had some of the best sleep of my life. It got me wondering, are there couples who have happy marriages and sleep in separate rooms?
Let’s Make An Alliance
This week we have Dr. Shelby Harris, a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in behavioral sleep medicine to talk all about it. She says there is nothing wrong with couples who have different sleep styles or nighttime routines. Dr. Harris personally hates the negative connotation of “Sleep Divorce” but instead wants to call it Sleep Alliance.
It’s a Sleep Alliance because the couple needs to be aligned and agree on the sleep arrangement. (If it is a one-sided deal, there can be a large amount of resentment.) Dr. Harris had a lot of good suggestions to make sure you are doing all you can do before you decide on separate quarters: Has the person who is snoring taken a sleep study? Is the light sleeper wearing noise-canceling headphones? Is this happening every night or just sometimes?
We also spoke to Dr. Harris about chronic fatigue in teens with early school start times, tech in the bedroom, and “momsomnia” aka revenge bedtime procrastination. Is any of this happening at your house? Let us know in the comments and happy listening!
