When I married Penn, I was in my 20s and I was a lot more fun. I had an entire section of my closet dedicated to “going out” tops. I was spontaneous and carefree. Late night dinners and nights dancing with friends were my idea of a good time. Then life happened. And just as items shift during flight, over time I shifted too. I became more honest about my feelings as an introvert and what made me happy. I took on more responsibility as a mother and a business owner. Even though Penn has changed too, I can’t help but ask – should I feel bad about not being the same person I used to be?
Love Breeds Trust
Even though I have changed, I feel more comfortable with Penn now than I have ever been. I love him 100x more than I did on our wedding day. He’s seen it all—my highs, my lows, my cheetah flannel sweatpants—and somehow I’m still the hottest person on the planet to him. The longer you are in-love with someone, the more you trust them. For example, you know you can fart in front of them or clip your toenails and they will still love you. (This may or may not be a true story – you’ll have to listen to find out.)
As couples change over time, it’s important to find new ways to reinvent your relationship. Looks for ways to connect with someone using the marriage easy button, and keep lines of communication open. It’s easy to hurt the ones we love the most by taking them for granted. Using statements like “I feel” can help your partner understand your point-of-view in an non-combative way.
Listen to this week’s podcast with our marriage coach, Christopher Edmonston, for more ideas on how to grow and learn together. How do you and your partner evolve together? Tell us in our Facebook Group!
