Penn and I fall into gender stereotypes when it comes to friendships. I get deep quickly with fewer friends, and Penn has more surface-level friendships with a lot of people. There are so many examples of deep, vulnerable female relationships out there, but where are the men? It is important for them to have deep, heartfelt friendships too. Right?
Earlier this year, we were invited to join Jason Alexander and Peter Tilden on their podcast “Really, No Really” to promote our new book, ADHD Is Awesome. It was an amazing experience, but the whole time I was in awe of their friendship. They have been best friends for decades, and it’s apparent that they admire and care about each other deeply.
Getting Vulnerable
This week, we invited Jason Alexander and Peter Tilden on our podcast to talk about the secret to building strong male friendships. One aspect we discussed (that could be applied to all friendships) is you’ve got to care. Peter is a naturally curious person. Even though he’s known Jason for decades, he never runs out of questions to ask him. He genuinely wants to know more about his life. “With friendship, you’ve got to get real quiet and you’ve got to have empathy so that you really care,” explains Peter. “You’ve got to be genuinely interested.”
Additionally, Jason had a suggestion to be more vulnerable with friends. He stole it from his wife, and they call it trading hostages. “Sometimes in male relationships, you have to offer that vulnerability to receive it,” Jason elaborates. He gave an example of being the first one to share something vulnerable with a friend in order to get something vulnerable back.
And Of Course, Seinfeld…
We talk to Jason and Peter about how they met, Seinfeld stories, and more advice anyone can use to build deeper connections. We also have a special mailbag from Charlie Berens, Myles Montplaisir, and Taylor Calmus… The Husbands of Target! Penn asked each of them what the secret to male friendship was during a recent visit.
Tell us your thoughts on building male friendships! Happy listening:
