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Our Secrets To A Happy Marriage

We have finally (and unfortunately) hit the 6-month mark of Covid quarantine. Penn and I both feel that we have hit a wall that comes with feeling cooped up for so long. The adrenaline of response to the pandemic and constant news update kept us going for the last few months and now it’s completely worn off. The last few weeks have especially been tiring and overwhelming. We know people everywhere are feeling this too. 

Penn and I feel especially lucky that in this time at home, our marriage has not only survived – but thrived. We spent some time on the podcast today answering your questions about marriage, parenting, and (dun dun dun) sex. 

Keeping Communication Open

Penn and I are married, but we are also really good friends. We have to be friends with all the time we spend working, parenting, and living together. One important cornerstone of our marriage and friendship is honesty. Honesty is what keeps us together. And that means being honest about what we want, but also what we don’t want. 

Another secret we have to our marriage is to not escalate fights. This took many, many years for us to master. We also try to make sure that if one of us is about to say something mean about the other, you say three nice things first.

Communication is a big part of Penn and I’s marriage. It’s how we handle parenting decisions that we disagree on. It’s how we decide how many times a week we have sex. It’s how we stay in a happy marriage. We believe fighting is a love language. It’s why we titled our upcoming book: Everybody Fights. (Available for pre-order very very soon!) Fighting is not bad, it’s important. 

And if you want to know how often we have sex…well, you’ll have to listen to the podcast.

Libsyn: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/16186760

iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-holderness-family-podcast/id1378725018?i=1000492918564

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1SIfLmwdOnQM9vGj6bcvoi?si=063RoP2QTkCCeEnO3Z3sbw

Pandora: https://pandora.app.link/ntKWDBLRaab

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