I thought I was doing pretty well in the weeks after college drop-off. After all, I managed to make it two whole days without crying. Two days! I even bragged about it to my friends, like one of those “days without an accident” workplace signs. But then the adrenaline wore off, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. The truth is, the quiet doesn’t rush in all at once—it sort of creeps in around the edges. So far, weekends have been the hardest. Sundays used to mean coffee, cozy snuggles, and Gilmore Girls marathons. That’s when I miss my girl the most.
That’s why I am so grateful Penn and I got to sit down with Gretchen Rubin, bestselling author of The Happiness Projectand one of my favorite voices on habits, happiness, and finding meaning in the everyday. Gretchen has a beautiful way of putting language to what we’re feeling. She suggests we stop calling this stage “empty nest” and start thinking of it as an open door.
Why “Open Door” Matters
“Empty nest” makes it sound like something has been taken from us. But an “open door” carries a sense of possibility and connection. Our kids may leave, but the door is always open—for them, and for us. It’s a reminder that this stage isn’t about loss as much as it is about transition. Gretchen also reminded us that weekends ARE hard and that’s ok.
I was surprised to learn that I wasn’t alone—many parents find the second and the third weekend harder than the first day. Suddenly, those family rituals you didn’t even realize were rituals (like Sunday takeout or family walks) leave a hole in your schedule. Her advice? Don’t just stare at the gap—fill it. Create new rituals, whether it’s a hike, a dinner out, or even something as simple as rethinking how you spend Sunday mornings.
New Traditions for a New Season
I’ll admit it: my first instinct has been cake, wine, and doom-scrolling. But Gretchen challenged me to think about healthy treats—the things that genuinely restore me instead of leaving me feeling worse. For me, that might look like trying a new dance class, going for a long walk with a friend, or even losing myself in a book. It’s about giving ourselves permission to feel the sadness while also finding ways to nurture joy.
Gretchen is big on rituals, and she reminded me that we can always create new ones. She even suggested something she calls a “buffercation”—taking a little trip right after drop-off to help ease the transition. It’s about marking the moment with intention, instead of just sitting in the empty space.
Holding Space for All the Feelings
One thing I loved about this conversation is Gretchen’s honesty: we don’t have to pick just one feeling. We can feel grief and relief, sadness and pride, emptiness and possibility—sometimes all in the same weekend. And maybe the greatest gift we can give our kids is showing them that it’s okay to hold both.
So if your house feels a little too quiet right now, I hope this episode reminds you (like Gretchen reminded me) that it’s not the end of something. It’s an open door. And even if weekends feel lonely right now, they’re also a chance to step into new routines, new joys, and maybe even new adventures.
And hey, if all else fails—there’s always squirrel picnic tables. More on that in the show. (Thanks for keeping me laughing, Penn.)
