Isn’t that a great title? Are you expecting real tips on how to conquer your to-do list? Welp. I have none. We create about 4-ish new videos a week, a bi-monthly podcast, a few blog posts, and parent two children. It sounds like a lot but we have help! Sam and Ann Marie know about strange things like “SEO” and “algorithms.” They will do the work of making sure this gets posted and that this blog has weird things like “keywords.”
Yes, we create a lot of content, but still I could teach a masterclass in procrastination. Despite my “I can conquer the world” attitude at 6AM, there are days when I don’t get out of my pajamas.
Ultimate Procrastination
I promise I try to be productive, especially during the Quarantimes. I thought I was going to start all these new home projects and catch up on books, but really I just had these new hobbies instead. There has to be a reason why the easiest and smallest things on my list never seem to get done. If someone were to make a schedule of what actually happens to me during the day this would be it:
5:45AM: Can’t sleep anymore, get up, and make coffee
6AM: Check the coronavirus numbers for my area
6:05AM: Check the coronavirus numbers for anyone I know in different areas of the country
6:07AM: Check Twitter to find a new, weird hashtag trending
6:09AM: Read news
6:10AM: Get angry about news
6:11AM: Continue to read news even though my hands are shaking with a mix of caffeine and rage
6:30AM: Second cup of coffee, debate getting dressed
6:32AM: Decide yes to coffee, no to real pants
7AM: Take the dog on a walk to get my mind moving (still in pajamas)
8AM: Encourage (read: demand) my children unload dishwasher and contribute to basic household chores
8:30AM: Get an urgent email that needs a quick response
8:31AM: Get distracted by my kids burning their breakfast
8:42AM: Re-open computer to reply to that urgent email but have been signed out. Forget password.
8:49AM: Try to remember make and model of first car to reset email password
9AM: Still unable to access email, help shoot video Penn has written
11:15AM: Do something not on my list, so I add it on my list just to cross it off
12PM: Graze for food in my pantry instead of making lunch
12:30PM: Research TikTok for new video ideas
1PM: Learn 7 TikTok dances. Record them. Do not publish them.
2:28PM: Realize I’ve been on TikTok for two hours
2:30PM: Remember that important email from this morning
2:31PM: Answer a call from my Mom checking in
3PM: Take the dog out again because it’s stopped raining for the first time in two weeks
4PM: Realize what time it is and frantically plan dinner
4:01PM: Search for recipes to create a dinner with what I have on hand: ground turkey and vanilla wafers
4:55PM: Order takeout
5PM: Check for news alerts, decide to put my phone away
5:01PM: Pickup my phone and read more news
6PM: Eat dinner and rationalize ordering takeout for the 3rd time this week as “supporting local businesses”
6:30PM: Search Netflix for educational documentary
6:31PM: Watch Netflix show I’ve already seen seven times
9PM: Remember that important email from this morning again
In all seriousness, what tricks do you play with yourself to be productive? Share them with me!
