As someone who has said one of their family’s values is resilience, I have a hard time with seeing my kids quit something. On the outside, I am always supportive of their decisions. On the inside, I always wonder if there is anything I should have done differently.
Did they quit because it got hard for the first time?
Should I have encouraged them to push through?
Would it have built more character if I told them to stick with it?
If something isn’t serving me or isn’t something I am interested in, I have no problem saying no. (This took years to master, by the way.) So why do I have a problem with my kids wanting to quit something? Shouldn’t I feel proud that they know themselves enough to say no?
It’s Not Quitting, It’s Retiring
This week, we invited our dear friend and parenting coach, Dr. Hope Seidel, on the podcast to talk about quitting. To start off the discussion, she mentioned that technically she quit being a pediatrician to follow her calling as a parenting coach. She likes to joke that she retired from being a pediatrician because retiring is just a fancy way to say you quit something and have it be more acceptable. Turns out, we as a society all have a problem with the idea of quitting.
Quitting at the end of the day is just a decision. If we stay in something too long, we stand in the way of where we are meant to be. Quitting is also a skill we need to build in our kids. I should feel thankful that they feel empowered to say no when something isn’t serving them, just like I took many years to practice doing.
Character Over Accomplishments
Dr. Hope Seidel talked to us about how to reframe ending something and to value our children’s character over accomplishments. Before starting anything new, you can also make a plan for how to quit with your child. It’s also important to understand the motivation behind quitting.
Penn, for example, quit his job as a news anchor because he wanted to make more time for our family. (The hours are famously terrible for any normal home life.) It was a hard decision, but we knew the outcome would make us happier in the long run. Quitting was one of the best decisions he’s ever made. Or should I say retiring?
Listen to our podcast and tell us about a time you “retired” from something. Happy listening!
