Penn and I were lucky enough to emcee an event for a wonderful charity last week. A kind woman approached Penn and asked for a picture and shook his hand. She left quickly and said, “I don’t want to bother you. I know you’re an introvert and don’t like to talk to people.”
She was trying so hard to be respectful, which I adore. But friends, I’m not an a$$hole. I’m just an introvert.
I’m assuming introversion is a bit of a spectrum, like anything. My introvert meaning may look completely different than yours but my soul hurts thinking there are people who won’t approach me because they think I don’t like to talk to people.
Introverts may choose quiet over chaos, but personally, I love people.
Introverts vs Extroverts
My brand of being an introvert is more about how I recharge, not how I interact with people. I think of it like a cellphone battery: After a night out, my emotional battery is empty and needs to be put on the charger all alone in an empty room.
My view on introverts vs extroverts? Well, I believe my husband is a flaming extrovert. His social battery actually charges when he’s in a room full of people. Being home alone would feel draining for him.
Setting The Record Straight
Maybe you don’t have an ounce of introvert in your body and you want to better understand introverts. So, I made a little TRUE or FALSE quiz to help:
#1 All introverts are shy – FALSE
I am not shy. I can (and have) sung karaoke from the tops of tables. I can enter a room with confidence. Sure, some introverts can be more reserved, but not all of us are shy. For the record: being shy isn’t a bad thing. Could you imagine if everyone was fighting for the microphone at the karaoke bar?
#2 – Introverts don’t like meeting people – FALSE
I love meeting people. It’s so hard to make friends as an adult but I really do love finding a connection with a new person. I don’t love small talk so if we meet we may end up talking about our trauma responses within five minutes. But isn’t that more meaningful than a full discussion of the weather?
#3 Introverts prefer solitude – Trick question: TRUE AND FALSE
Yes, I do savor those precious moments of alone time in my week but I would much prefer to be with my people. When we lived in New York City, my favorite hobby was walking the length of the city to watch the cast of characters sharing the road. I didn’t like sitting alone in my apartment. I wanted to be surrounded by people, even if they were strangers. That being said, for me to truly recharge I need some alone time.
#4 Introverts aren’t fun – FALSE
A dear friend ,who also identifies as an introvert, has this sneak-attack sense of humor. I know if I sit next to her at dinner we will laugh until we pee a little. Perhaps we aren’t reaching for the spotlight (I realize the irony of my job and that last sentence) but we can have A LOT of fun.
#5 Introverts desperately want to be more extroverted – FALSE
I suppose I can only speak for myself here, but I’m fine the way I am. I am so thankful for my extroverted friends but I’d rather dig a ditch with a toothpick than be in back to back to back social settings. I love my quiet time.
I realize this list is specific to my brand of introvert. Your introvert meaning may be completely different and that’s what makes the world wonderful, eh? But this is all to say, if you see me around town don’t be afraid to say hello.
I may be awkward and ask about your deepest childhood fears within 2 minutes, but I would really love to meet you.
