Someone recently asked me as an Enneagram Type 1 personality, how I react to constructive criticism. First of all, if it’s any foreshadowing, I was very defensive the first time someone told me that I was an Enneagram Type 1. That should have been my first clue.
When I first started working in the news business, it was actually pretty easy to accept constructive criticism because there wasn’t much time to criticize one thing before you’d already moved on to the next. However, when it comes to more personal criticism from family or friends, that’s where my personality is instinctually defensive. I’m not talking about internet criticism from comments on social media (which I actually don’t really care about at all). But, feedback from people I really care about can, for me, be hard to receive.
The More You Know
After learning about my personality and hearing the characteristics described, I was able to realize this about myself. I’ve been able to see how my automatic defenses work, and I’ve been able to work on it in a productive way. I won’t lie, I still get a twinge of discomfort, but my strategy is to allow myself to sit there quietly and literally picture my clenched heart opening up.
I try to focus on the criticism from the other person’s point of view. I remind myself that they are only giving me this feedback because they love me – if someone doesn’t care about you, they wouldn’t bother telling you.
Simply pausing to remember these things and allowing my heart to open has made such a profound difference in my life.
What’s Next?
On this week’s podcast episode, I shared my open heart strategy with Penn. He’s a big believer in mental imagery having a positive effect on your life, so he is going to try it next time he’s feeling defensive. I am curious if anyone else uses this method and how it works for you?
Join us at one of the links below to hear our whole conversation on this topic as well as the next big thing we are craving in our lives and how we’ve learned to fight better.
Also, don’t forget you can get our new card game, Family Faceoff, on our website or Amazon.
