The Weirdest Stuff on Amazon

We buy a lot of props for our videos. So every once in a while, I get a suggested item on Amazon that I find puzzling, weird, and mostly funny. All of those wig purchases put us in a strange algorithm of potty humor. (Which let’s be real, is pretty on brand for us.) Poop and farting is hilarious at our house. Point for you, Amazon. I’m not entirely sure when or if I would ever purchase any of these items. If you need something amusing for a birthday gift, white elephant exchange, or even a prank—we’ve got you covered. 

Bathroom Humor

1. Bathtub Wine Glass Holder

I enjoy a relaxing shower or bath just as much as the next person, but would I need a screen time intervention for using this? Through the power of suction cups, you can watch YouTube on your phone and drink a glass of vino while bathing. I should be mad, but I’m sort of impressed.

2. Butts in Space: The Card Game

Evil Butt has stolen all of the toilet paper in the universe and destroyed your toilet space ship? Was this game invented in 2020? Surely to make kids laugh, you get to match your butt character along with weird versions of toilet paper. Watch out for the Power Fart card.

3. Instant Underpants

I have a lot of questions on this one. First of all, if I need instant underwear why would I soak it in water first? To wear soggy underwear? Who thought of this! The reviews are that these don’t even work, so it’s safe to say it is a gag gift at best.

4. Flushin’ Frenzy Game

I’ll admit, when I first saw this game I barfed a little. Every parent has had to plunge a turd down the toilet before and it’s definitely not a good time. The reviews on this game are pretty good on it, but I cannot bring myself to buy something with a smiling piece of feces. At least it will teach kids life skills if they ever need to get out the plunger?

Conversation Starters

5. Awkward Family Photos Calendar

While most of these gifts are something I would never consider purchasing, this is my exception. I live for awkward family photos. I can see this calendar bringing me joy for 365 days. The best part of these is that some are professionally done. Meaning SOMEONE PAID TO LOOK THAT AWKWARD. I can’t.

6. Does It Fart? Book

Questions I never knew existed – do other animals fart? I know our dog certainly does. Apparently millipedes do too. But octopuses? No flatulence there. Fun facts to tell your friends! I can’t let Penn or PC see that this book exists or else I will be hearing about farting until the end of time.

7. P Is for Pterodactyl: The Worst Alphabet Book Ever

Lola’s mind was absolutely blown earlier this year when she found out Pterodactyl started with a P. In her defense, it’s not like she missed a phonics lesson. The word Pterodactyl is terrible. This is just another reminder that the English language is super weird.

8. Burrito Blanket

Remember that game when you were kids about wrapping someone up like a burrito with a blanket? Well now you can literally get wrapped up like a human burrito. No matter how much the close up photos tell me the blanket is cozy and soft, it just looks like a cold, hard tortilla to me.

Wild Animals

9. Triceratops Taco Holder

I’ll admit this one is pretty cute, especially for a picky eater at home. If you weren’t excited about Taco Tuesday to begin with (which is crazy because tacos are amazing) then a dinosaur taco holder will do the trick. This actually looks to hold two hard tacos. Double win.

10. Finger Puppet Squirrel

This was a suggested purchase for me one day and I cannot unsee it. If you have purchased this, please tell me WHY? Squirrels can be cute, but this is utterly terrifying. I have no idea why you would need this, but apparently they make other animals too. My favorite is someone in the comments who said they sent it to their sister with zero context.

11. Pooping Pooches Calendar

And finally, rounding out the tour of awkward stuff on Amazon… this. Twelve months of dogs crapping on a calendar. Some in a beautiful landscape and some in a simple backyard. If you ever forget what you dog looks like when they go #2, this calendar is for you.

What is the craziest thing (PG-rated please) that you have seen on Amazon? Tell me in the comments and apologizes in advance if you now get served weird suggestions based on your search history.

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