About a week ago, I was having a major anxiety day. One of those days where if I let myself, I could have very easily laid in bed all day and spiraled. But I had things I had to do. I didn’t want it to derail me.
So I pretended.
I asked myself, “What would someone without anxiety do today?” They would get up and work out. They would shower. They would knock off their work to-do list. So I did that. I pretended I was that person. I worked out. I showered. I knocked off my to-do list. Was it the best day I’ve ever had? Not really. Did I accomplish what I needed to? Pretty much. (I did more than if I had let anxiety take over.)
So why wasn’t I prouder of myself? Why didn’t I feel good instead of feeling like a fraud?
Getting Emotional
This week on the podcast, we explored Part 2 of our conversation with Ian Morgan Cron, author of the enneagram book The Story of You. Last week, we spent a lot of time talking about Penn & Enneagram 7s. This week, we promised to talk about all the enneagram types. Which we did, that is until I shared my “pretending I didn’t have anxiety” story with Ian.
After I shared my strategy, Ian told me that even though I felt like a phony I actually did a really healthy thing to deal with my mental health. I glossed over his compliment. Penn kindly called me on it. Things unraveled from there. See, the thing about being an Enneagram 1 is that you’re always looking to improve. It’s hard for you to realize you don’t have to be perfect to be good.
And that’s something I’m still trying to tell myself.
To hear the rest of our conversation with Ian Morgan Cron, listen to the links below:
