Oh Sweet! 7,000 thread count Egyptian cotton! We can’t afford that but I bet Uncle Bobby could. Add to list.
Pewter salt shakers that have a little rotor on top that churns out salt! Maybe Grandma will pay 75 Bucks for that! Add to list.
CHINA! In case the President comes to our house! We need that! Add to list.
Kim and I were these people 17 years ago. We didn’t have much money to start our lives together, but we did have friends and relatives that would buy us kitchenware gadgets. We traipsed through Pottery Barn and Bed Bath and Beyond with that Gun Thingy that looked like something we could use to catch speeders on the highway and we went NUTS. Then, we basked in the warm glow of a 50 dollar apothecary shaving mug.
I’m not here to say these things aren’t great, especially sheets. We needed new sheets, for sure. But I am here to ask this question:
Is the traditional wedding registry really setting your marriage up for success?
Happily Ever After
That’s what everyone wants right? Everyone who goes to your registry wants you to live Happily Ever After. Maybe they also want you to think of them when you use that Food Processor, but mostly, they want your wedding to succeed.
Stay with me here….
What if we had registered for things focusing on the long-term success of our marriage?
We recently did a podcast on “Advice We’d give to our Newlywed Selves.” Along with our tips, we had some of you write and call in. One of them stood out to me: “My advice would be to get counseling with your partner right off the bat.”
She was so right! Counseling should be more important to newlyweds than new flatware, right? It should be more important than a tie rack or a pie bowl (is that what you make pies in? Pie tray? You can tell this is Penn writing here).
Remove the Stigma
First things first, we need to remove the stigma that “Counseling Means There’s Something Wrong.” Can we just stop with that? Counseling is for two people who love each other to understand each other better. Full stop. Good marriages need it. Struggling marriages need it. Newlyweds DEFINITELY need it.
Just like everything else on the list above, counseling sessions aren’t cheap, especially when you are a newlywed. Kim and I would have loved those sessions in our 30s but there is no way we could have afforded them.
But what if we had put them in our Wedding Registry?
I know my parents would have bought one or two, and probably my friends and aunts and uncles as well. I wouldn’t get an apothecary shaving mug that I would never use. That’s a great tradeoff.
I would love to know what all of you think about this. Also, are there any other non-traditional things you’d put on your registry that would help the long-term success of your marriage? What should really be on wedding registries? I’m all ears!