Parenting a child with ADHD is equal parts rewarding and exhausting. Some days, you’re celebrating their creativity and brilliance. Other days, you’re wondering if they’ll remember to turn in their homework or sit through breakfast without doing laps around the kitchen table. (Also, is doing laps while eating breakfast a bad thing? More on that later…) That’s why we invited our friend and expert, Dr. Emily King, back on the podcast this week to help answer questions from our listeners about ADHD.
So many of you asked how to motivate kids with ADHD in a positive way. According to Clinical Psychiatry News, a child with ADHD could receive up to 20,000 corrections or negative comments by the time he or she is 10. It’s such a balance to help instill confidence and drive without contributing to that statistic.
As always, Dr. Emily delivered advice that’s practical, compassionate, and makes us look at ADHD in a new light. Here are my top 5 takeaways from our conversation:
#1 Think “Younger Nervous System”
One of the biggest mindset shifts? ADHD isn’t just about focus and impulse control. For younger kids, it’s about having a younger nervous system. They might be academically advanced, but emotionally, they’re playing catch-up. That means instead of constant correction, we need to recognize what’s developmentally appropriate—not what their chronological age says.
#2 Correct Less, Support More
Remember when I talked about doing laps while eating breakfast? If your child is pacing in circles while eating a toaster waffle (yes, that’s my house) ask yourself: Is this a safety issue, or just my problem? Dr. Emily’s advice is to only correct for safety and essential skills. Otherwise, celebrate their differences. Choosing your battles helps protect their confidence.
#3 Meet Kids in the “Emerging Zone”
ADHD kids don’t leap from “I can’t do it” to “I’m totally independent.” They live in the messy middle: the emerging zone. This is where they need scaffolding, strategies, and patience. Maybe it’s doing homework with them to create a routine instead of expecting independence overnight. Instead of thinking of that as enabling, view it as teaching.
#4 Show, Don’t Just Tell
Verbal directions often fall flat with ADHD brains. A lot of times they don’t know what “done” looks like. This one hit home hard. When we say something like “clean up your room” or “get ready to go” a kid’s ADHD brain has a hard time capturing what that looks like. To help, you can show them or even take a photo of what these things mean. Concrete visuals turn instructions into something their brains can actually follow.
#5 Find Joy Outside the Classroom
School can be tough for ADHD kids, and that can chip away at their confidence. Dr. Emily reminded us that not all learning happens in the classroom. Sports, music, theater, gardening—these are all powerful ways for kids to discover their strengths and feel successful. (And ADHD kids deserve to know all the ways they can shine!)
Us parents know that our kids with ADHD aren’t lazy or broken. Their brains just work differently. With the right strategies, support, and a whole lot of patience, they can thrive. Give this episode a listen and tell us what questions you have for the next time Dr. Emily is on the show!
