As everyone knows, my husband has ADHD. It’s what makes him creative. It’s what gives him hyper-focus to turn around a video edit in mere hours. It’s what keeps our whole family laughing. Basically it’s his superpower. My superpower? Constant worry and dread. Pretty much the same as Penn right? What a special spark I have. (Thanks anxiety!)
Bottom line: I do not have ADHD. I crave order and control. So how can we learn to work better together being so opposite? As an Anxiety vs. ADHD Couple?
Is It ADHD or Is It ERFD?
On this week’s podcast, we had Marcy M. Caldwell, Psy.D as our guest. She is a writer, speaker, and licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in the treatment and assessment of adult ADHD. She loves everything ADHD—the energy, the enthusiasm, the special spirit people who possess it have. She even married someone with ADHD. She explained that if she could re-brand the disorder, she would call it an Executive Functioning Regulation Difference. Or ERFD for short. (Totally rolls off the tongue, right?)
Dr. Caldwell explained to us that ADHD brains do not have dimmer switches. Whereas neurotypical brains can dial up or down depending on focus, ADHD is either all on or all off. ADHD brains also tend to move onto the next task before the previous task is complete. This leads to a lot of disorganization and forgetfulness.
Tuck The Chairs, For The Love
An example of both of these challenges lies at my kitchen table. Each day, Penn pulls out a chair a few feet from the table to put on his shoes and never tucks the chair back in. This is a small inconvenience, but after tucking the chair back in multiple times a day everyday, I find myself getting passive aggressive. (It takes 2 seconds. Can we not just put it back?)
Dr. Caldwell gave us strategies on how to tackle the problem of the chairs together rather than each other. She also gave us ideas on how we can be more grateful to each other for what we do for one another. Are you an Anxiety vs. ADHD Couple? Or do you have someone you love with ADHD in your life? Give this podcast a listen and tell us what you think!
