I probably say sorry, apologizing for my very existence, at least twenty times a day. Of course I want to take accountability if I run into someone at the grocery store or am running a few minutes late to a meeting. But sometimes I apologize when I didn’t do anything wrong. (The waiter got my order wrong? Oh I’m so sorry! It must have been me.)
I’m a natural people pleaser that doesn’t want to inconvenience others. But recently I’ve been thinking, is there a problem with saying sorry too much?
From Apology To Appreciation
This week on the podcast, Penn and I invited Award-Winning Leadership Strategist & Global Peak Performance Consultant to Fortune 500s, Shadé Zahrai, to talk to us about what our sorries mean and what to say instead. “Saying sorry too much can reflect personal challenges that someone may have,” explains Shadé.
According to a recent survey, one-quarter of Americans say they apologize for things outside of their control at least daily, including 11% who say they do this several times per day. Studies also show that the average person says, “I’m sorry” 8-10 times per day. That averages out to more than 3,000 apologies per year.
When To Say Sorry
Shadéshared that it’s okay to apologize when it’s warranted, but if it becomes compulsive it can be damaging. It can permeate both your professional and personal life. By over apologizing, you are undermining your credibility and digging into a deep sense of inadequacy. You are not valuing yourselves and your abilities.
If you have “Saying Sorry Syndrome” you can flip from apology to appreciation. If we are sharing emotions with a friend, instead of saying “I’m sorry I’m talking too much” you can say, “Thank you for listening to something that means a lot to me.”
Listen to our conversation with Shadé for great tips, and tell us what you think!
