Perimenopause and menopause can feel confusing, overwhelming, and honestly pretty lonely. Not just because of the physical symptoms (which are real and exhausting), but because so many women don’t even know what’s happening to their bodies… let alone how to explain it to the people they love most. Especially men.
I feel grateful that Penn has taken the time to learn and understand more about perimenopause and menopause. But initially it sort of happened by accident. Which is the same thing that happened to Jesse Robertson, the creator behind Husbands for Menopause.
Losing Protective Hormones
Jesse listened to one podcast on his way home from work, had a few uncomfortable realizations, and decided he needed to help men be more informed. We talked to him about this recently on our podcast, Laugh Lines. “I couldn’t have told you the first thing about menopause,” Jesse admitted. “And then I’m sitting in my car thinking: Wait, what’s happening to women?”
One of the most important things Jesse shared is that many women aren’t hiding what they’re going through. They simply don’t have the language for it yet. As he put it, “She may not be able to articulate why she feels off… because she wasn’t prepared for this either.” That matters. Because when a woman says, “Something feels wrong,” she’s not being dramatic. She’s describing a real, biological transition happening in a body that’s losing hormones that once protected her emotionally, mentally, and physically.
A Deeper Conversation
Perimenopause and menopause comes with a lot of symptoms. Mood swings. Anxiety. Rage. Brain fog. A sudden drop in libido. It’s important to remember that these aren’t character flaws or excuses. They are real. “It really begins with listening to and believing your wife,” Jesse advised. Not fixing or minimizing. Not debating whether it’s “that bad.” Just believing her experience is real.
Another powerful insight Jesse offered was about communication. Couples often argue about symptoms (the snapping, the lack of intimacy, the mood shifts) instead of talking about how those moments feel. Many men also quietly struggle with intimacy during this time. When desire drops, men often internalize it as rejection. But Jesse emphasizes that it opens the door to having deeper conversation.
Your Curiosity Matters
For men reading this: Your presence matters. Your curiosity matters. Your willingness to learn matters. This chapter of life isn’t something to rush through or fix. It’s something to walk through together. And listening might be the most powerful first step.
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