The other day, I drove home from rural North Carolina after yet another youth basketball tournament, and I went back over the weekend in my mind. Between the fast food, long drives, and uncomfortable hotel beds, there were moments that I questioned my sanity for agreeing to coach my son’s basketball team. It’s a time and energy commitment that can be draining.
But then, I started to think about what I’m getting in return.
What I Have Learned
First of all, the meaningful time I get to spend with my son by coaching is my favorite. Secondly, coaching his team has taught me to be a better parent. It has taught me patience, understanding, empathy, and has forced me to evaluate how I’m communicating.
Here are a few of the things that I’ve learned:
My words mean more than I think, and I have to choose them wisely. In fact, less is almost always more. I have to remember not to flood these kids with too much information, possibly causing confusion and/or to be overwhelmed.
When dealing with a child, imagine for a second being in their shoes. I try to physically put myself at their level and remember that being talked to by an adult who isn’t your parent can be intimidating.
Games are a microcosm of independence. These kids are out there on their own and, as a coach, I need to remember to let them try to problem solve on their own rather than stepping in too quickly.
Sadness and disappointment are not to be avoided or suppressed. Disappointment and all of the emotions that come with losing or failure are necessary for growth and should not be ignored. You need to sit in the sadness.
Patience is key. I expect a lot from these kids (and I think it’s good to expect a lot from kids as a coach) but I shouldn’t expect things to happen overnight. Improvement and growth happen over time, and I need to remind myself of that.
Oh, And Bring Your Own Pillows
Kim and I discuss the lessons I’ve learned in this week’s podcast and how they translate to parenting. After all of the countless practices, tournaments, and road trips are said and done (after PC “retires” from youth sports) I truly hope what I have taught him and the rest of his team is something of value to them. Because what have they taught me? It’s priceless.
Oh, and bring your own pillows on said road trips. It’s life-changing. (More on that too!) Happy listening:
